Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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