All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
