I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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