Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize