i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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