he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i drank out of a bidet.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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