Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
