Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
