I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
