im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
