I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize