Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
