no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize