She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
