these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he thought i was a dude.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize