do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
