Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
ok first of all what the fuck
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
