Ambien. No doubt about it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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