ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
