One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
we made out on top of his cat.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize