thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
