THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
