you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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