How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
