You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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