Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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