just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
