The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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