i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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