eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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