i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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