There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize