that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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