he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
