At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i think im in europe. pls send help
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