In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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