I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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