a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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