I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
