been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
