And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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