there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
