Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
