I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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