walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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