Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
