Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
