Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
now i know why i became what i already was.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
