i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
