im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
