Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
