He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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