No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
