I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
3 2 1 whiskey
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
