New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
