you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
