Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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