1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
