I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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