i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
