I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
please don't ironically join a cult
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