you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
