Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
