So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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