Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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