i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
