This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
