He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
