I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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