woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize