I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
