hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
