it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
