Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
