Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
