i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
